Being In The In-Between Stage

​ Perhaps you left the soul-sucking job to start your own business or look for another career or you ended a relationship that was no longer working but you are still open to finding your big love. You have done some growing and evolving. You’ve outgrown who you once were and the new is in progress. You’re in the in-between stage- between what you are finished with and what is next in life. Sometimes knowing that this stage is a real thing can be validating.

It’s like when you are in process of making fudge brownies. You have done the prep, mixed all the batter and put the brownies in the oven. They are in process, and just not where you want them to be to eat as a fully baked delicious brownie. The in-between stage is like being in the goo stage of the brownies.

The in-between stage of life can be really uncomfortable. You are in the polarities of what was and what will be. There is the unknown and perhaps feelings of discomfort and trepidation or grief.  Maybe you are present to excitement as well. 

It is a bit unavoidable on the way to your next phase. Predictability and fixating on the past will not bring you to your inner peace and full power. You know you can’t run back to the safety of old structures. You’ve been there and know the outcome of that. You don’t know exactly what’s waiting for you on the other side of where you are right now, but you have flashes of possible outcomes and new ideas of how you want it to be.  You're in the dance of of letting go and holding on. 

There may be times you want to grab something solid to hold onto. Maybe you want to call your ex, apply for a job you don’t want, stay home and watch Netflix instead of going on that date. Or you choose a local destination to travel to, but you really want to go abroad. Some kinds of familiarity are truly nourishing. But in the in-between, clinging to what you thought was good for you just prolongs this stage. 

You’re evolving and expanding,  your evolving self requires new sources of refreshment and nourishment….which can take some time to seep in.

You’re in the process of beautiful transformation. Transformation can be messy and not always a smooth ride. However so much growth, exploration and new awarenesses can come during this stage.

​ Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.  ~Anonymous.  A friend gave me this magnet quote when I was in the separation stage of divorce many years ago. On the brink of this experience, I started a business, traveled the world, and experienced things I couldn't of imagined. I have also have met some of my dearest friends and connections.  I forever keep it on my fridge as a reminder during transition times of life.  

Keep going my friend, you can’t go back now, you have come too far. Stop flailing and float. Choose deep breathing over gasping. Remember your “why” and what it truly is that you want in your life and who you are.  Keep taking one step at a time forward until you discover your wings and fly.

Photo: Cueva de Dos Puertas in Grazalema Natural Park, near Grazalema Spain. 

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