Vulnerability is becoming a more socially acceptable concept. Some of the focus has been on letting go of perfectionism and embracing truth, cultivating deeper relational connections, as well as an increased value in taking courageous risks, in order to be more innovative, creative and accomplished.
When was the last time you felt that your heart was going to jump out of your chest when you felt an emotion that you were scared to speak out loud? We can hide our fears and hope that everyone feels we have it all together.
I work with people on learning the truth behind what they really want to say, how they truly feel and what beliefs they cling to that hold them back. What are some of the fears that we hide? The lies that we tell? The secret truths hidden under them? How vulnerability can be your greatest strength. Here are a few that I hear frequently. Notice the whispering vulnerable belief behind the words being said.
What I have come to learn in my own journey and through my clients throughout the years is that control is a myth. And life is messy.
What I see over and over again is that when you are really, truly, finally ready to lay the fears that restrain you out in the light of day to get a good look at them, they become so much smaller. The power they once had morphs into a mighty steam engine of motivation to push you forward. Those fears will start loosening their grip on you with each step you take forward.
How do they become your greatest strengths? Over time…
The best part? You actually give others power to be who they are when you admit that you struggle. You remove the competition of being better, more put together, more in control, smarter, etc, etc, etc…Not only that, you learn a lot about the stories that you tell yourself and the ways you hold yourself back. Self-sabotage at it’s best. Did I mention that your relationships with the people you love become stronger when you can be honest about your fears? But you have to be brave enough to be vulnerable. To look at the fear. To be who you really are.
Many of us have been doing one thing for so long, we've lost the ability to imagine anything else. For some, it's a job. For others, it's a relationship, family situation, where we live, how we spend or time, habits we've developed. It could even be a pattern of thinking.
We can get stuck, and don't even realize it.
Getting stuck can happen even in situations that we've consciously chosen. For example, you may have decided four years ago to create your own business; it was a conscious choice, you went through a lot of soul searching to get there. Now, for some reason, it doesn't feel good any more. It feels flat, boring, meaningless.
Or perhaps you entered a relationship years ago: you committed to that relationship, you were certain you'd found true love. Maybe you even got married. And now... it doesn't feel good any more. You've outgrown it, or it's outgrown you, or... it's hard to know why it's not working.
Or maybe you embarked on a course of study; you went back to school to get a degree or certification. You thought long and hard about your choice, you meditated and prayed and spent a long time considering you decision. And now... it doesn't feel good. After all that money and time and expense, it doesn't serve you.
You're stuck. And you may be terrified to change.
So, how do we get stuck?
Basically, people get mired in the mud when they stop expanding. In other words, getting stuck is what happens when we let ourselves get bored, go unchallenged, or stay in stressful or unpleasant situations for too long.
Of course, other possibilities are calling to us all the time!
But when we're stuck, we miss these sweetly insistent signs from the Universe. Or worse, we actively choose to ignore them.
We see it, we know it's there... and for a moment, we ponder what it might be like to head in a new direction.
But we're so stuck...it's so hard to get out of all that mud.
"Better keep to the safe path," we mumble to ourselves, feet sinking further into the muck. "Better keep to what's known."
Are there areas of your life do you feel stuck? Are there any steps you can take to create forward motion?
The purpose of our journey here on earth isn't to stay the same.
Instead, we're here to expand as fully as we possibly can; to learn and grow and experience life as brilliant, passionate, interesting, quirky, scary, and vibrant as it is!
Life and Leadership Coach, Licensed Counselor, outdoor enthusiast, yoga lover and passionate about wellness.