Have you ever found yourself wanting to do something outside of your comfort zone, then quickly talk yourself out of it? Whether that be to start your dream business, make a career move, or ask that person on a date. Self-doubt gets in the way and we can freeze. Our inner critic can tell us that we are not good enough. When bombarded by elements that can lower our self-belief, we can take charge of building up our confidence and resiliency muscles… to live the life you want and be the awesome person you are.
This topic comes up quite frequently with my clients, and I have had my share of my inner critic speaking up when going out of comfort zone. Below I will share some tips to build your muscles in this area.
1. Feeling the range of emotions you have without judgement. The pleasant and not so pleasant. You are a human and have a full range of emotions and feelings. Sometimes it is uncomfortable! We can feel a full range from anger, frustration to joy and love. Allow your self to feel them, but they don’t have to derail you from the things you want to do. By allowing yourself to be with and still take steps forward, it builds resiliency, emotional strength and confidence in yourself to manage challenging emotions.
2. Speaking up and being heard. This may be sharing your thoughts, asking for what you need or want and self-expression. While we can be mindful and intentional in our speaking, it’s allowing yourself to speak up and be heard versus hiding and playing small because you are fearful of using your voice.
3. Taking Action. Take small steps forward towards your vision and goals in your life, even when you feel scared. Each step you can take can build confidence in yourself. Celebrate the steps you are taking to go forward!
4. Ending Self criticism and beat-up. This is one is so important! We can be our worst critic and be so critical about ourself in our minds. It can be an endless cycle that can be stopped. When we are in the self beat up cycle, it can be a hindrance to our self-confidence. Notice when you are in the self critical loop, acknowledge it, have compassion for yourself and practicing letting it go and choosing thoughts that would better serve you.
5. Accept Compliments. As anyone ever gave you a compliment, and you found yourself not being able to take it in and hear it? Compliments are a mirror of who you are and the great qualities people see in you. Practicing receiving and allowing compliments, they are a reflection of you are!
6. Allow yourself see your positive qualities and achievements: Maybe that’s reminding yourself of accomplishments you have already had and the things you are good at. Maybe you have a great smile, or you nailed that work project. Allow yourself to acknowledge your positive qualities and achievements, no matter how large or small. Do this often!
7. Spending time outdoors. Spending time outdoors in nature can a be a big confidence and resilience booster. For one, it allows you to connect with yourself. When you are on a trek, long walk, or climbing a mountain(big or small), when you get to the top, it can be an amazing feeling and the knowledge you can do it.
Resilience refers to how well you can manage and bounce back from the difficulties of life. Resilient people tend to maintain a more positive outlook and cope with stress more effectively. On both a personal and business level, resilience helps us to create, build, and heal in ways never thought possible- giving us the ability to meet challenges that come our way.
While some people seem to come by resilience naturally, these behaviors can also be learned.
Whether you're going through a tough time now or you want to build muscles, here are 6 things you can practice in order to foster your own resilience.
1)Build Positive Beliefs in Your Abilities
Having confidence in your own ability to cope with the stresses of life can play an important part in resilience. Your belief in yourself plays an important role in coping with stress and recovering from difficult events. Remind yourself of your strengths and accomplishments and practice shifting negative beliefs that pop up in your mind. Remind yourself of the struggles you have faced and got through.
2) Embrace Change
Flexibility is an essential part of resilience. By practicing adaptability, you'll be better equipped to respond when faced with a life crisis. Resilient people often utilize these events as an opportunity to branch out in new directions. While some people may be crushed by abrupt changes, highly resilient individuals are able to adapt and thrive.
3) Developing Optimism
Staying optimistic during dark periods can be difficult, but maintaining a hopeful outlook is an important part of resilience. Positive thinking does not mean ignoring the problem in order to focus on positive outcomes. It means understanding that setbacks are temporary and that you have the skills and abilities to combat the challenges you face.
4) Nurture Yourself
Focus on building your self-nurturance skills and make time for activities that you enjoy. By taking care of your mind, body, and soul, you can boost your overall health and resilience, manage stress, and be fully ready to face life's challenges.
5) Build Strong Social Connection and Support
Having caring, supportive people around you act as a protective factor during times of crisis. While simply talking about a situation with a friend or loved one won't make your troubles go away, it allows you to share your feelings and get supported.
6) Spend Time in Nature
A great example nature demonstrates of resiliency is rest. In winter the trees go dormant, animals hibernate and seeds await to bloom in the spring. Our minds and bodies need rest and breaks from the busy world. With proper rest, we gain the capacity to handle challenges, stress and lead to having a different perspective.
I am a Licensed Professional Counselor, Certified Coach and Registered Yoga teacher, mentor and advisor. I draw from these modalities to support you with the healing process if needed, stress management, building resilience and shifting challenging thoughts. We connect with your intuition, get clear on your vision, address the blocks that are in the way so that you are living the life you want to live. There is no cookie cutter approach, our work together is completely tailor made to what it is your goals and needs are. My work is integrative, so I also work with the mind-body connection.
Life and Leadership Coach, Licensed Counselor, outdoor enthusiast, yoga lover and passionate about wellness.