You are enough. Just as you are. Period.
So what does this mean to be enough?
You are enough means that you were made to be you, as you are, on purpose. You are enough as you are, mess and all, beautiful as you are, showing up for your life every day. That’s all you have to be and all you have to do. You’re already enough.
You are enough means you can grow and change and continue to become, because you aren’t trying to prove yourself.
You are enough means that you don’t have to strive to become more worthy, more valid, more acceptable, or more loved. You already are all of those things.
There are things you may want to be more of. Openness. Honest. True. Authentic. Free. Connected. Intentional. Purposeful. Those are all expressions of your enough-ness. They aren’t about changing yourself, they’re about being yourself.
You were enough before, you are enough now, and you will continue to be enough as you become more of who you were made to be. And believing that, when the world keeps whispering otherwise, is brave.
Because “you are enough” does not mean that you have been measured and considered and judged, and that you have finally earned the label of “enough.”
It doesn’t mean that you’ve worked long enough, tried hard enough, presented well enough.
It’s simply who you are. The you that you are is enough.
You don’t have to be more, or do more, or buy more to be who you are meant to be.
That’s what I mean when I say you are enough.
You are enough does not mean that you are a final product, complete and finished, all done growing and changing and learning things forevermore.
Having a good grasp on “enough” means you don’t have to get everything, and you certainly don’t have to be everything.
You are enough does not mean that you have to be self-sufficient. It doesn’t mean that you don’t need anyone or anything else. It means you understand how much you do need, how small you are in this great grand universe — and that you don’t have to be even one inch bigger than that.
You are enough absolutely does not mean that you never need help. When you know you are enough, it’s easier to ask for help. It’s easier to admit your weaknesses. You know that your imperfections and your difficulties don’t reflect on your worth, because you are already enough, just as you are.
You are enough does not mean that you are flawless, or that you never make mistakes.
You make mistakes. I make mistakes every single day. I’m aware of my flaws.That doesn’t mean that my flaws are the truest, most important thing about me, it just means that I acknowledge them. I see them there. They exist.
You are enough flaws and all. You are worthy of all the amazing things you want in your life.
I’m noticing a trend in talking with my clients about slowing down a notch. I also noticed my own desire and need to slow down too. We live in such a fast paced world these days. Do more, hustle, work really hard, do it right now, do everything now, and do it super fast. There is also working longer hours to achieve more and being connected all the time with technology and being always “on.”
It doesn’t have to be that way to get the results you want and the life you want.
I have been practicing slowing down this year, having boundaries around what I will take on and knowing what I have to let go that is not serving me or aligned with my purpose. I’m breathing easier, I feel the joy in the little things, I feel lighter and freer. Yet I am still in action making things happen and doing. I’m just coming from a different place and being.
Our nervous systems can begin working in overdrive.. for years. When we actually slow down, access stillness without the force and push, it can be slightly confusing to the system and maybe disorienting! You can also see things a little clearer, what you though you wanted, maybe wasn’t the thing for you. What you thought that mattered, maybe didn’t so much.
Slowing down can be a bit terrifying(yet I still recommend it!) Doing too much can be a cover up for fear, wounds, anger, shall self-worth. Do more to gain acceptance and love, do more to not feel all the feelings. We avoid just being in our own humanity.
Just slow things down and it becomes more beautiful. ~David Lynch
There is freedom in flow and ease. More space to create, to be, expand, live. So many of us are breathless, pushing harder to achieve. It’s not passion, it’s a bit punishing.
Slowing down is brave, flow, and faith. Slowing down is not being in action or not going for your deep desires and vision, it’s about you actually being there and being and seeing all of it. With presence and joy while you impact the world in your own way and live the life you want.
Deciding when to let go and move forward is not an easy task and decision. At some point in the course of our lives we are faced with making a decision around letting go of something that no longer serves us, Maybe it is a relationship, a job, a certain career path, or even a friend. It can be downright heartbreaking.
When we are approaching a life change questions can arise: Should I stay or should I go? Should I buy or save? Should I move or not? We can spend a lot of time in this process of “should” as we try to create the best outcome for our life. The problem? In doing this, we often hold onto what no longer works for us or make a decision for other people. We stop trusting our own intuition to what we want and need, what’s healthy for us or not.
You may have often heard phrases such as “giving up is never an option.” When there is a time something is hurting our health, resources or potential for happiness, we have to look closely about why we are actually staying.
Romantic relationships, jobs, even places we live sometimes come to an end. Sometimes life presents us with other opportunities. Sometimes we hold on to things that aren’t working out of fear we won’t find something better.
Perhaps our greatest fear is the unknown, which is why so many of us grasp, hold on and manipulate our situations trying to control our surroundings. But the outcome can be the same: more pain, immense frustration and ginormous guilt and blame.
When we let go of things that no longer serve, we actually create space for what we really want to create. I left a job that I didn't love many years ago to start my business. Totally scary, but I began doing work I really loved and supported people in a whole different way. Most recently I am reinventing my business and letting some things go to really create what's in my heart and do what really lights me up. I'm also moving offices(after 10 years of being in the same building) and changing up my schedule to free up space for other adventures.
I love the expression “life is a process of holding on and letting go”. We strive to make the “right” choices and decisions, but how do we really know when to let go and move on? Here are a few things to consider when making the decision to stay or move on:
This list serves as a compassionate guide to support you to make the right choice for you. Trust your intuition and inner knowing and don’t be afraid to ask for support and extra love!
Several months ago I went to see a speaker talked about his experiences rock climbing, hiking and kayaking fierce rapids…this man is blind. He was a total inspiration sharing his story about living his life with out barriers.
We all can create self-imposed barriers- Am I strong enough? Can I do this, Am I worthy? All the fears of what may happen or not happen. I know many of you view me as the strong woman who tackles mountains and loves adventure, and sure, this is true! Yet let’s not forget, I am also human. I have had my own fears and doubts too. I have faced also faced these barrier when I am doing something big, and although I don’t allow them to stop me, I realized there was still a little more to look at.
I knew that I was ready to let go of the remainder of stuff that was holding me back. The questions, barriers, beliefs, and fears keeping me from what I truly, deeply desired in life.
So I chipped away these remaining beliefs and barriers – providing space to level up in life! To put into ACTION my next level of goals, passions, and purpose. I got clear on what was holding me back and no longer served me and I then I got complete with it. Changing those thoughts, choices, and decisions in life has opened up a new path.
From standing in my power during speaking engagements, saying no to where I once said yes, and saying yes to where I once said no. I have taken vulnerability and openness to a whole new level. I have been stepping over those obstacles and leveling up as a result!
And let me tell you, it has been beautiful and freeing! I’m not done either.
Sure, people may view me differently. Some for the better, some not. But guess what? LIFE is about how you view YOURSELF. Every day. I am the mirror image of me. No one else.
And so my practice suggestion to you is this:
Find yourself a piece of paper, write out all of your limiting beliefs and barriers. Jot down those stories you have created, the thoughts that no longer serve you. Be real with what you have told yourself all of these years! There is no shame in honesty.
Now, imagine for a moment YOUR LIFE without barriers. Without strings attaching you to those thoughts, limiting beliefs, and recurring stories holding you back. Write that down and save it in a place you can see it.
This week, I encourage you to slowly chip away and release those barriers and patterns. One by one, with every step forward. Create that path to what YOU most desire and are passionate about in life!
YOU GET TO BE YOUR GREATEST SUCCESS STORY.
We are all human. We are all learning, healing, overcoming, and taking this journey one step at a time. This world needs you – to be your greatest success story.
Are you ready? I AM.
Let’s do this, together. If you need support, reach out!
PS: Photo taken backpacking Peru at approx. 16,000 elevation!
The Life Coaching business has grown tremendously over the years and not every coach is created equal. There are general life coaches, career coaches, health and nutrition, divorce coaching and the list goes on. Coaching is an incredible structure designed to support individuals to make shifts in their life to create the life they want for themselves by design, not by default. A Life Coach can support you to move from your perceived limitations, fears and any other obstacles, so that you may achieve the life they always wanted.
Life Coaching creates a bridge connecting and individual not only to their desired life, but also to the outside world. It enables them to tap into their gifts, talents and passions and take them out into the world. In turn, it will also connect the world to them. When they take care of themselves, they have more to give to others.
When choosing a Life Coach there are certain qualities you want to look for. Keep in mind that there is no actual licensing for Life Coaching. Anyone can say they are a coach. There are hundreds of coaching certification programs and courses, each with different methods, techniques and philosophies. A Life Coach with many certifications may not have the ability to listen well or have natural people skills, while another with no formal certification may have extraordinary listening skills, insight and wisdom, however not the necessary training and it can be detrimental when practicing out of their scope of expertise. When choosing a Life Coach, I invite you to you to ask the following questions.
1) What is their training background, certifications and experience?
Not every training course is created equal either. There are courses to get certified in a weekend for $25, or one year rigorous certification training such as the one I chose. The International Coach Federation is a governing body for accreditation of training programs. Ask the coach about their training, if it was an ICF accredited course and how many hours their training was. Note: ICF lists all credited schools on their website. Ask them about their certifications-there are 3 levels of certifications- ACC, PCC, and MCC. Ask them how long they have been practicing and what their experience is as well what area they specialize in. Coaching is an investment and we are working with humans, it can be quite unsafe to work with someone who is not properly trained.
Someone’s training also demonstrates their level of commitment to the field and their profession. For my therapy license, I earned a Master’s degree and I was required to have 2000 supervised hours and 2 years experience. I’ve been in the field working with clients for 20 years. I still received proper training in coaching and became certified through my program and the ICF. I also was required to submit several recorded sessions(with permission) to be reviewed for competency. The feedback was essential to the work I do.
2) Did you feel heard and listened to?
A Life Coach has a natural ability to listen. It is powerful for clients, the ones who are truly heard and allowed to express themselves fully, to have someone who listens to them. Assisting others in having a beautiful life involves more listening than advising. When someone is listened to with full focus on what they have to say, they create their own solutions, arrive at their own decisions, and discover options they did not see before. When they talk things out in a safe space, with another human being who has no agenda or preconceived notion of who they are or should be, it brings light and fresh air into their soul, opening the door to a life filled with new possibility.
As a Coach, I have a personal ritual that I do prior to my coaching session to clear my head, so that I am fully present for my client. Listening is not passive, it is focused. A Life Coach has to listen for the subtle statements and words that give them hints leading to a client’s fears, dreams and passions. They must also tap into their own intuition. To do this a Life Coach must be fully present.
3) Do you feel comfortable with them to be honest and open?
Good rapport is extremely important as you are sharing personal details of your life and building trust. It is so important to feel comfortable with the coach as every coach has their own personal style and flair. Most coaches offer a complimentary session or discovery session so you can get a feel for their personality and style.
4) Do they seem passionate and interested in their work?
Life Coaching is not just a regular job, its an extraordinary opportunity to support individuals reinvent areas of their life. It’s a gift and an honor be trusted so deeply. For me it’s more of a calling, way more than something I just do for work. If a coach is passionate about their work, they are better equipped to support you in following your own passions.
5) Is your coach willing to call you out on your own bullshit?
Coaching isn’t supposed to be necessarily comfortable. You may feel confronted with your stuff. When we are moving beyond our comfort zones, we can have automatic ways we go to in order to resist the change and stay safe. A good coach will reflect to you when they see your patterns surfacing and support you in moving forward.
6) Do you feel they have your best interests at heart without any hidden agenda?
A Life Coach should be listening to you and guiding you, not telling you what to do. At times they may share with you, ask you questions, create scenarios or even make suggestions(if you are open to suggestions), but they never tell you what to do. They are not consultants, nor are they therapists. Remember, you get to choose what is best for you and your own path.
I brought home a new puppy in July and training started from the beginning. House training started immediately; I started a puppy training class in October and we have homework each week to practice all the new commands. We are encouraged to train our dogs an hour a day, broken up into different time frames. I have stuck with it and Ellie is able to to do several commands!
While Ellie is pretty smart( I may be biased!), the more consistent I am with her in training, the more she is with remembering and learning what I am asking of her!
Like anything we are creating in life, our consistency is super important. Whether it’s your health and fitness, with your current job, building a new business, maintaining a business, relationships, child rearing or puppy training. I know for me, the more consistent I am with what I am creating or working on, the better results I have. It is the strategy for achieving long-term greatness in your life.
As humans, consistency is one of the big things us humans struggle with the most, especially when we are moving outside of our comfort zone.
However being consistent is essential if you want to make any big change in your life. It’s also a must have skill to creating what you want our of your life. It’s one of the things I work the most with my clients and what supports them or gets in the way. While I am not perfect, I have learned a thing or 2 about being consistent and it is a game changer in my health and wellness and my business.
Here are 6 keys on being consistently consistent:
1) What’s your Why?
Creating a vision and having an understanding of your why. For instance, you are saving money for amazing vacation. You want to create a biz that allows you freedom and increased income. Get clear on your why and don’t lose sight of it.
2) Schedule and prioritize
Scheduling is an important factor of being consistent. For example, I scheduled my workouts in the morning, I have my own coaching session at the same time each week, I also schedule network meetings. If you schedule it, you are more likely to achieve it.
3) Ignore the voice in your head that says “I just don’t feel like it”
There will be times you will have a voice of “I don’t want to do it” or ‘I just don’t feel like it”. At some point that voice will arise. You don’t have to listen to it! Many times I’ve heard that voice when I don’t want to run or go to that biz event. I know it’s normal and have the choice to not listen! Be consistent even when you don’t feel like it because you’ll often be grateful and happy that you pushed through the momentary discomfort.
4) Watch for self-doubt sneaking in
While your creating the life of your dreams, self-doubt may sneak in and it can be the ultimate consistency destroyer. Notice and acknowledge your self-doubt. You wouldn’t have it if you weren’t challenging yourself. These are just voices too, and they aren’t the truth of who you are and what you are capable of.
5) Consistent schedule
Mine starts with my morning schedule. I meditate, take the dog out for her walk, work out, have breakfast, look at my schedule for day and begin. It’s what works for me to start my day off feeling great and optimal as well as take care of my well-being. Having a level of consistency in your schedule creates an increased opportunity to tackle the things that are most important to you.
6) Practice consistency
The beauty of consistency is that it permits you to be incremental in your progress. When you have those days that feel like “same, same” reflect on how far you’ve come and how far you’ll go because you’ll then see how different your life is indeed. Pick one thing and make it a habit then add the next thing. Keep practicing! There will be times you may fail off the wagon, no need to beat yourself up. Just get back on the wagon and practice again.
I am the new mom of an adorable 4 month old chocolate lab name Ellie that came home with me at the end of July. What an adventure it has been! Hikes, yoga classes, meeting new friends, play biting, and training!
Dogs can be some of the most sweet, lovable creatures in the world. If you slow down and pay attention, there is so much we actually can learn from our furry friends. Here are some of my own lessons Ellie teaches me daily.
1) Slow down and be in the moment
As humans we are doing a lot, we are on the move, distracted by our phones. So much doing and we forget being. Dogs are right there in the present, not looking ahead, not looking behind. They enjoy company and play without the distractions and can be in the present moment.
2) Play, play, play
Dogs are great reminders to humans to take time and play every day. We all need play time to have joy, live our best lives, and energize ourselves. Dogs, especially, puppies, love to play and have fun each day.
3) Take naps and rest
Ellie plays like crazy and takes a nap when she sees needs to. We all need rest to regenerate our minds and bodies, to recover from the day, and to feel our best self.
4) Every day can be a new adventure
You can wake up and start the day with dread or you can choose to see it as a new adventure.
5) Enjoy the little things in life
Ellie is super excited about a kong with peanut butter or a being outdoors. There are so many little things that can bring joy if you look for them.
6) Forgive and let go
I step on Ellie's paw or out a little longer than I planned to be. She forgives me and is able to go forward without a grudge. It takes energy to hold onto a grudge and anger.
7) Love Unconditionally
Dogs love unconditionally like no other. Ellie loves just about anybody she meets! I know she loves me no matter what. It can be a challenging task to love unconditionally but our relationships would thrive!
8) Jump for joy when happy
I come home and Ellie wags her tail, jumps up and down and is super excited to see me. Celebrate your wins, do happy dance, sing out loud it feels great!
9) Drink lots of Water
Dogs instinctively know when their bodies need water. It’s a good reminder for us to stay hydrated and drink when we’re thirsty. In fact, drinking water when you feel hungry is good for weight management because often you just need some water. Another good practice is to drink a glass of water as soon as you wake up in the morning.
10) Don't compare yourself to others
Can you imagine a terrier wishing she were a boxer or a poodle envious of a collie’s mane or a pug wanting the nose of a greyhound? We humans spend a lot of time trying to make ourselves look like someone else’s version of perfection instead of loving our unique features, our unique life, and yes, our unique problems. How boring it would be if all dogs (or all humans) looked and behaved alike! Love and appreciate everything about yourself — the good, the bad and the ugly!
When faced with decisions in life, many times we seek guidance and support. If guidance begins to feel like you are being told what you should be doing versus what you know within yourself to be right, please remember to stand up for you. You get to choose what’s best for you.
Whether you agree or disagree with this blog, it’s totally your choice. I would never tell you what you should think, feel or do.
How many times have you shared something exciting you want to do with someone and their response was “you really should do….” How many times you knew in your heart what you really wanted, then told yourself you “should” do something else.
I know I have had conversations like this with people in my past that resulted in advice giving using the “should” word. These conversations usually left me feeling disempowered, a little angry, unsupported and hurt. If I find myself using the should word, it's usually not coming from an empowering place. It’s the word I would like to eliminate from the vocabulary!
I remember when I started my business many years ago and was met with other people's projections of fear. "You should keep your full time job", "This is scary, maybe you shouldn't do this". I chose to go forth anyhow and have supported many amazing humans over the years, have had so much growth from this experiences and created the work and life I wanted for myself. Have I made mistakes and hit road bumps along the way? Yes, but still my choice and not listen to the should word.
Live your life for you. You get to choose powerfully.
I love learning from others’ wisdom and experiences. I appreciate the guidance and support of others. I also appreciate good feedback and reflections. My true belief is that we are all here to educate and grow from one another. If someone has already been down a path of which I am headed down, why not learn from what they went through? Here’s the difference: I am seeking their guidance, not their approval.
I love working with my coach. She NEVER tells me what I should do. She supports me on finding my own answers, asks powerful questions that evoke insight and reflects back to me what may be getting in the way. The should word is not used.
Just because a way of life works for one person – does not mean that it will work for another. Listen, learn and take in what you need to when seeking advice. You may not have a need to follow their guidelines or walk their walk. Take that which serves you and forge your own path. If you make a mistake along the way, the learning is on you-not them.
It is one thing for someone to offer you advice. It is another if they expect you to follow it. It is your choice.
Ultimately, YOU have the power and knowledge within to find your answers in life. No one knows you better than you.
Walk your own walk. One step at a time.
PS: Photo taken from New Zealand, a place a couple people told me I "shouldn't" go to because it was far. It was one of the most amazing places ever and so grateful I listened to myself and went!
What challenges you? Maybe it is a long run or a race, or hiking a mountain. Or starting a biz or a new job, asking someone out on a date. Maybe it is taking a class or going back to school. It could be doing something new and outside of your comfort zone.
Challenging oneself promotes growth for not only yourself, but for others too.
When I look back over my life and notice where I have grown the most, it has been going through experiences that were super uncomfortable and the most challenging.
I look back at the many adventures I have been on such as hiking, backpacking, camping and travel and there were many times I was challenged. Weather patterns are unpredictable and travel plans can change on a dime when flights get cancelled. I’ve fallen many times, literally, and had to pick myself up and keep going. I love the challenge of a long hike, a river crossing or a run. My adventures typically brought a new level of confidence, a belief in myself that I can overcome obstacles and total excitement in doing something I was unsure I could do.
For the past year I flew into NYC one a weekend a month for my Life Coaching and Leadership training program and graduated and certified in July. This program was designed to be confronting and challenging to create transformation. The past 12 months were transformative, life altering and empowering on so many levels. Not to mention many of my relationships have been transformed.
I love being a business owner and I have been for the past 13 years or so. It has been the most exciting, life changing, challenging, and empowering experience. Many times I have wanted to quit and have had to commit and recommit over an over again. I have also reinvented my therapy business and also added a second business of Life and Career Coaching to add more challenge and growth.
For the past year and half I have worked with a life and career coach. I have been challenged, pushed out of my comfort zone and called out on my own BS stories getting in my way. If I am supporting others to create amazing lives, I need to be doing my own work!
So here is my challenge to you:
Do something within the next seven days that forces you OUT of your Comfort Zone, even if it scares you. Take witness to who you inspire and provide learning along the way. I’d love to hear how your growth empowers others! Because undeniably, it will.
A few weeks ago I was in NYC for my monthly leadership training and Friday evening I stayed in Brooklyn with a teammate. So on Saturday morning we leave Brooklyn to get to Manhattan 20 minutes early. Plenty of time to grab a coffee and get ready to kick off the weekend.
On our way, we were in our Uber and came upon a large half marathon that was happening. There was traffic everywhere no matter which way we tried to go. We totally hit a standstill and decided to hop out of the Uber and run and catch the subway. It was raining, so I traded my heels in for running shoes and put on my rain jacket. We were now going to be 20 minutes late! I noticed I started to stress about not being on time. In this moment there was absolutely nothing we could do to get there any quicker and we realized it was out of our control at that point. Sometimes things happen beyond our control, no matter how much we plan for them.
When I was stressing about being late, I noticed I still wanted to be in control of the subway and I felt tense. I realized that I have a choice on how I want to respond to the situation. I was able to loosen up, breathe a bit and relax. I could have chosen to stay tensed up or I could let go of what I can’t control go.
As with many of the simpler things in life, it’s not always easy to let go, even of the things we know we can’t control. Many of us feel really uncomfortable with letting go of the grips of being in control and want to manage the outcomes. Sometimes we realize that all of this wanting to be in control can feel like an unnecessary burden. Like my stress on the subway that morning.
We can allow ourselves to be taken over by anxiety and fear or we practice lessening our grip on control. I could have stayed in stress mode about being late and let it ruin my morning but I chose to let it go. We may not be able to be in control over every situation, but we are in control of how we want to respond. This is a great reminder as I return to NYC this weekend!
Life and Leadership Coach, Licensed Counselor, outdoor enthusiast, yoga lover and passionate about wellness.