The "Should" Word
When faced with decisions in life, many times we seek guidance and support. If guidance begins to feel like you are being told what you should be doing versus what you know within yourself to be right, please remember to stand up for you. You get to choose what’s best for you.
Whether you agree or disagree with this blog, it’s totally your choice. I would never tell you what you should think, feel or do.
How many times have you shared something exciting you want to do with someone and their response was “you really should do….” How many times you knew in your heart what you really wanted, then told yourself you “should” do something else.
I know I have had conversations like this with people in my past that resulted in advice giving using the “should” word. These conversations usually left me feeling disempowered, a little angry, unsupported and hurt. If I find myself using the should word, it's usually not coming from an empowering place. It’s the word I would like to eliminate from the vocabulary!
I remember when I started my business many years ago and was met with other people's projections of fear. "You should keep your full time job", "This is scary, maybe you shouldn't do this". I chose to go forth anyhow and have supported many amazing humans over the years, have had so much growth from this experiences and created the work and life I wanted for myself. Have I made mistakes and hit road bumps along the way? Yes, but still my choice and not listen to the should word.
Live your life for you. You get to choose powerfully.
I love learning from others’ wisdom and experiences. I appreciate the guidance and support of others. I also appreciate good feedback and reflections. My true belief is that we are all here to educate and grow from one another. If someone has already been down a path of which I am headed down, why not learn from what they went through? Here’s the difference: I am seeking their guidance, not their approval.
I love working with my coach. She NEVER tells me what I should do. She supports me on finding my own answers, asks powerful questions that evoke insight and reflects back to me what may be getting in the way. The should word is not used.
Just because a way of life works for one person – does not mean that it will work for another. Listen, learn and take in what you need to when seeking advice. You may not have a need to follow their guidelines or walk their walk. Take that which serves you and forge your own path. If you make a mistake along the way, the learning is on you-not them.
It is one thing for someone to offer you advice. It is another if they expect you to follow it. It is your choice.
Ultimately, YOU have the power and knowledge within to find your answers in life. No one knows you better than you.
Walk your own walk. One step at a time.
PS: Photo taken from New Zealand, a place a couple people told me I "shouldn't" go to because it was far. It was one of the most amazing places ever and so grateful I listened to myself and went!
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Life and Leadership Coach, Licensed Counselor, outdoor enthusiast, yoga lover and passionate about wellness.