Somehow we learned to have date expectations on what we will accomplish and what's supposed to happen in our life. It starts off as a child- we will walk by age 1, have a drivers license at age 16, go to college and graduate by age 21, get married and have babies in our 20’s etc. The list goes on.
I went to college and graduated relatively “on time”, went to graduate school, graduated and gained employment. I met my future husband, got married in my 20’s. Then in my early 30’s...divorce. Wait, that wasn’t the plan! I thought I was supposed to get married, have babies and live happily after? Ok that was what I thought in my 20’s and that there was a certain path I thought I needed to follow in order to be successful.
Although I was devastated by divorce and the stigma around it, this event set me on a new trajectory. I had the opportunity for reinvention and this time, on my terms. I challenged old belief systems of what I thought had to do and traded it with what I want to do.
Right after divorce, I went to Costa Rica and traveled. I adore travel and adventure and love seeing the world. I always had dreams of being self-employed, so I started my own business- a counseling private practice. Through having my own business, I gained a greater sense of self-confidence as I was making it happen and doing it on my own. I followed my heart and went for it and 12 years later I am still self-employed!
I went on to travel the world and have been to some amazing places. I developed my original love for the outdoors and began hiking a lot more. I have hiked all over the world. I began running and challenging myself through races. I developed my passion for my hobbies and met some incredible people along the way.
So a couple years ago I hit a plateau in my life. So I hired my own coach and then followed a long time dream of mine- to become a coach! I enrolled in a rigorous one year program and here I am, building a new business…at 45! Reinvention again!
So, not everything happens on an unexpected time line. I let go of societal expectations and limiting expectations of myself. By setting aside these expectations, I discovered that it gave me the mental space to realize that I AM far greater and deserving than the limited expectations I had once put on myself. Belief systems of what I “should be” were now squashed by what I “could be” and “would be”. I also discovered I am far greater than the expectations others have put on me.
Let me tell you, this hasn’t happened with out fear. I had a ton of fear, anxiety. I had grief of my divorce and the loss of my dad. I grieved the loss of my in-laws that I adored. It took some time, but I allowed myself to feel all the feelings I needed to feel- anger, sadness, grief, and joy and excitement.
My life shifted when I really let go of those expectations and began trying new things. As I said above, I am far greater than the expectations myself or others placed on me. When I think about all the experiences over the years, I get excited because I made them happen....I did it!
Every time that I hiked a mountain, tried something new, traveled a new place, ran a race, the old version of me dissolved giving way to a far more integrated me.
I chose to stretch myself mentally and physically, placing Unlimited Potential for my new life and growing in ways I never thought possible.
I have dreams and visions of what I will create next. I want to be me, I want to give back, I want to inspire others, I want to love hard, I want to see more of this amazing world. I get to reinvent myself at any age…. on my own timeline.
What would reinvention look like to you if you push your limiting beliefs aside, get adventurous, and see what is possible?? I can’t wait to hear!!
3/24/2018 09:59:40 pm
The blog is so motivational. I wanted to explore the world too, because I know in that way, I will discover myself too. Sometimes, not following the rules makes you realize who you really are. Nature nowadays plays a big role in one's life due to it helps people to value their worth and have a peace of mind. Loving yourself too much is not a bad idea, although sometimes it became a reason why the walls of yours are too high enough that makes a person have a high standard and hopes for other people.
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Life and Leadership Coach, Licensed Counselor, outdoor enthusiast, yoga lover and passionate about wellness.